Forbidden Fruit: True Love
by Secret MagicAWEstorm
Summary: The story of two lovers and the trials of their infatuation, as a desperate Clan struggles to survive possibly the greatest threat the forest has yet to face.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: No flames, 'kay? Hope you guys like it! xp**

Prologue. Forbidden fruit: scarlet peach

A cat yowled.

The sun was low. The sky was high. The red light of dawn made a ginger she-cat even more orange as her penetrator approached.

"I love you. I've always loved you."

The dark tabby he-cat lifted his face into the light to reveal a pair of dazzling amber eyes.

"Tigerstar, this isn't right! What about the clan?"

Tigerstar chuckled softly and then replied, "All four— well five if you count SkyClan… All _five_ clans can sink into the earth and WROT for all I care! My goal has been _you_ from the moment I first saw you beyond the safety of your garden fence. I thought I had no chance with those twolegs protecting you, but my luck turned when you wandered into our territory, and even became one of us. I had to rule them, rule you. Destroy them, conquer you. Do you understand yet, _Firestar_?

Chapter 1. Fateful encounter and Distant plotting

Tigerclaw yawned as he patrolled the ThunderClan border with the clan deputy, Redtail, and his own apprentice, Ravenpaw. Same trees. Same path. Same dumb cats. Then our hero(Tigerclaw ;) ) saw a young ginger tom sitting just beyond the boundary of a twoleg's fence. The tom was simply cleaning himself, quietly, peacefully, but watching him awoke a dark ambition in Tigerclaw. He had to rule every cat, everything. If he could take control of the world he could have his way with this one cat, and at that moment he vowed that he would do so.

Five books and a prologue later, our hero(now Tigerstar ;) ) was talking to a little angry cat named Scourge in the rain. He was talking about a plot.

"I have this excellent plot. I'm enlisting for your help!"

"Well, what do I get in return?"

"All the catmint you can snort! Now, pay attention. I need you to take these ketchup packets…"

(SCOURGED OBTAINED 9 KETCHUP)

"…and pretend to kill me nine times. I need to fake my own death to have the element of surprise on my side. You see, I am in love with a young tom named Firestar, and I'm-"

"Being gay is against the warrior code! You can't love another tom!"

"I plan on changing that."

"You CANNOT alter the warrior code!"

Tigerstar grinned a very evil grin.

"The warrior code is not what I plan on changing."

**A/N: Okay, that's all I'm writing for now. The next chapter will be called "The Plot Commences" and will probably be released by next Tuesday. Tell me what you think. Thanks :P**


	2. Chapter 4

Chapter 4. Important Election

Meanwhile, back at the ranch(or in this case the ThunderClan camp ;) ), it was a very soggy Wednesday and all the cats were gathered around to elect a new leader after the mysterious disappearance of their old leader(Firestar ;) ).

There were so many wonderful candidates!

There was Whitestorm, old but wise.

There was Greystripe, silly and apathetic.

And then there was a third, more secret, contender; a dead RiverClan cat from the future. It was… HAWKFROST(our hero's(Tigerstar's ;) ) son ;) )!

"I'm so excited for the election!" said a cat. But that cat was very stupid because he was not aware that there was an election going on at all. In fact, he had actually meant to say "erection".

Everyone else, however, was, in fact, _very_ exited about the _election_.

The candidates all gave wonderful speeches.

Whitestorm spoke about bran flakes and the upcoming war with ShadowClan.

Greystripe spoke about legalizing abortions.

And Hawkfrost gave the most wonderful speech of all. Hawkfrost proposed a Nazi-Communist system of government that would pave a new path of divine glory for ThunderClan and the entire forest.

Needless to say(but I'm saying it anyhow ;) ), they all voted for Hawkfrost.

But all was, in fact, not well, because just beyond the brush guarding the ThunderClan camp was possibly the greatest threat any Clan had ever faced. It was ZOMBIE SNOWKIT!


	3. Chapter 5

**A/N: OK, this chapter is a short detour from our hero(Tigerstar ;) ), but I feel like we need to get to know our villain(Zombie Snowkit ;( ) a bit before we get back to our main cast.**

Chapter 5. The rise of Zombie Snowkit

_The rapture came and went, but they did nothing. Nothing to save me from the claws of death, as the reaper dove down and carried me away._

Snowkit had never been well liked or understood. His mother was an old hag who spent a majority of her time shredding mint leaves and the other kits didn't like to play with him much. All the other cats pretended he was deaf so they wouldn't have to deal with him; some even grew to believe that he was.

The only friend Snowkit had in the world was the weighted companion cube, that is, until Bluestar made him drop the weighted companion cube into the fire from Rising Storm sohe could advance to Test Chamber 18.

One day, the book needed some filler, so a hawk flew down from the sky into the conveniently crowded-with-cats ThunderClan camp and picked up a kit, who had been written into a corner with a disability and otherwise had no relevance to the story. That kit was Snowkit.

He was not missed.

Snowkit was offered a place in the stars, but he kindly refused. He had other, more evil, plans for revenge on his mind. So (obviously) he slapped on a giant purple hat with a blue feather on it and repaired to a nearby Mocha-Ice Cream bar.

The Mocha-Ice Cream bar was called BarClan. It wasn't really a clan; it just happened to be called that. Snowkit walked in with sunglasses on and a smile on his face, and exactly three seconds after he had put his sunglasses on, he saw a dead cat from the future who would change his life forever… Gorsetail of WindClan.

Gorsetail wasn't a very popular character either, as he shared the same prefix a beloved apprentice, so they decided to unite on a quest to destroy all four earthly clans! (yes _four_, SkyClan sucks so it doesn't count)


	4. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Firestar. May his relevance and heroic spirit rest in peace.**

Chapter 6. Firestar's Weakness

Sunbeams flooded through the window and warmed Firestar's fur as he laid on the floor of the abandoned twoleg cottage he and Tigerstar had taken up residence in. Firestar yawned, stretched, and pulled himself to his paws. _Time to meet Tigerstar by the river_.

Unfortunately, Firestar never made it to the river that day; he never even made it to the next room. Firestar had been caught in a fox trap. He glanced up to see two cats standing over him. One was a scrawny tom(Gorsetail ;( ) and the other was a very evil looking kit(Zombie Snowkit ;( ).

"So how did it happen?" the kit grunted, "How is it that the cat who once defeated the entire BloodClan army is now stuck in a fox trap in the middle of his own home?"

Firestar sighed, "You may want to sit down for this."

Zombie Snowkit and Gorsetail of WindClan seated themselves on the couch and Firestar continued, "Well, to begin with, I'm 0.00000000004% fox and-"

"Right, that makes sense," Zombie Snowkit cut in, "because you're way too orange to be a regular cat. But go on."

"And that's a small part of why I'm so susceptible to fox traps, but _only_ a small part. The real culprit is something much more deadly. It's called 'irrelevance'."

"'Irrelevance'? Is that some sort of deadly toxin?"

"If only. It is a burden cast upon those who do too many helpful or relevant deeds; deeds that drive the plot, move the story forward. It's not something we get right away, it rises with the new generation of heroes. As they take on roles that resemble yours there soon is no room for you to move, to fight, and your character development begins to _deteriorate_. You want to fight back, but it destroys your will to do so, and you are forced to sit and watch as you _bumble_ around into obvious fox traps."

The two cats sat quietly for a moment, and then Zombie Snowkit spoke up, "Thank you for your time, Firestar, but the two of us must be going now.

The two cats opened the fox trap and left the broken hero in a daze.

Once they were far away from the cottage, Zombie Snowkit whispered to his accomplice, "It seems, Gorsetail of WindClan, that all we really need is to take the forest is _a shift in protagonist_.


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. The Lost Chapter

"Hey wait," Firestar realized aloud. "I'm still a boy."

"Of course you are," Tigerstar(our hero ;) ) chuckled. "I love you, Firestar. I would never try to change you, but I _might_ still try to hurt you some─ I don't know, it's just so much fun…. Well, back on the gender thing, my plan was never to make you a woman, I just wanted to trick everyone into thinking you'd had a sex change operation so our marriage would be legal. And it worked; even the narrator called you a she-cat in the prologue."

Firestar let out a mrrow of laughter. "Tigerstar, you are _so_ silly!"

Tigerstar laughed too, and then the two cats moved into an abandoned twoleg cottage together.

~.~.~

Up in space, some asteroids were placing chess, and Oliver was winning.

Above the asteroids, in _silverpelt_, two dark, scary-looking cats were making new bodies for themselves out of paper mâché, so that they could once again stock the world below the world with the asteroids playing chess.

Suddenly, Vladimir had a major comeback and won the chess match.


	6. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Stock Romance

In the dark aisles of a local Harris Teeter, Zombie Snowkit and Gorsetail of WindClan were stocking shelves. Stocking shelves with **EVIL**! They were also discussing how they could take over the story.

"So how shall we do it?" asked Zombie Snowkit.

"Hmm," answered Gorsetail of WindClan, "I think what we need to do is become the driving force behind the plot, so what we need to do is read back through the story, find where the conflict really begins, and take over the roles of the heroes."

Zombie Snowkit and Gorsetail of WindClan began to read, and read until they caught up to present time.

Zombie Snowkit spat angrily, "There is no plot! All that's happened with the heroes so far is just random events of their everyday lives. The only real _story_ going on here is our quest for revenge!"

Zombie Snowkit paused and at that moment, a light bulb lit up overhead, the colors became very saturated, and a choir began to sing. Zombie Snowkit was experiencing an epiphany.

"Gorsetail of WindClan, we've already done it. The only real plot in this story is ours! We may not be the heroes, but we are the protagonists!"

A few aisles away, Hawkfrost and Cinderpelt were also stocking shelves. They needed a little extra cash, because of the prey shortage in ThunderClan territory. Surprisingly enough, Hawkfrost's Nazi-Communist plan had actually caused the prey shortage.

Cinderpelt collapsed under the weight of a box of apples, and heaps of ruddy fruit spilled out across the floor.

"Careful." Hawkfrost whispered.

He helped Cinderpelt clean up the fallen apples, and then licked her softly on the cheek. She looked at him, embarrassed, and almost protested, but instead offered a weary sigh. The feeling was mutual.


	7. Chapter 8

Chapter 8. Bricks in the Wall

Tigerstar awoke to the sound of running water. He had fallen asleep waiting for Firestar by the river. A shadowy figure was approaching from the ThunderClan border. As it grew closer, he recognized his son, Hawkfrost.

"Father!" called President Hawkfrost, "ThunderClan is under siege by the forces of Zombie Snowkit and Gorsetail of WindClan!"

"Calm down, son, and tell me what's happened."

"They breached our security and ran into camp with a rogue asteroid, who apparently has some deep seeded grudge regarding a chess match, and are threatening to _destroy_ the entire forest if we don't adhere to their wishes."

"Okay, for now, go along with whatever they tell you to do and I'll-"

"It's already too late for that! All the stubborn assholes in ShadowClan refused them, so now they're planning to kill us all!"

"Let me just find Firestar and-"

"I already got Firestar. He isn't helping though; he seems to be in a strange state of shock. He's just sitting in the middle of camp, singing some Pink Floyd song. Zombie Snowkit and Gorsetail of WindClan are planning to launch the asteroid from the high rock, let's go!"

"Wait, which Pink Floyd song was Firestar singing?"

"'In the Flesh' I think? But I don't see why it matters…"

"We have to hurry."

Tigerstar and Hawkfrost raced back to ThunderClan camp, only to find _a wall in front of the high rock_.


End file.
